Wednesday, February 4, 2015
Is it Demeaning to Focus on Women as Mothers?
Child
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EMacke
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Family
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Motherhood
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St. John Paul II
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Women
1 comment
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Recently, I came across an op-ed decrying the
emphasis of Pope Francis, and the Church in general, on the role of women as
mothers. The author complained that such
a view reduces the potential of women, denying the importance of the feminine
contribution to careers and public life.
I contemplated the words while sitting on the floor
reading an unlikely trilogy of “Bear on a Bike,” “The Story of Christmas,” and
“The Big Red Barn” to a brand new one-year-old.
The cycle of stories was often changed only two rhyming sentences into
the next book, interrupted by an urgent, “Pease” (please) and a new book
plopped into my hands.
Is it insulting to my intelligence, time, and gifts
that I choose to stay at home with our daughter? Am I ignoring my potential or wasting my life
and education by repetitious rounds of “The Eensy, Weensy Spider?” Would my life be of more service to the world
if I agreed to 40 hours per week at a desk?
These questions came to mind as I spent a typical day with our
daughter.
 |
| “Mother Playing with Her Child” Mary Cassatt, c. 1899 |
Every human person is unique, unrepeatable and
someone chosen by eternal love (as St. John Paul II liked to say). Every human life is precious. Every person possesses a dignity simply by
virtue of existing.
In our society we tend to measure worth by what one
has accomplished. What grade did I
receive on the test? How many figures
are in my salary? How many items did I
cross off my to-do list? How impressive
is my resume or Linkedin profile?
Babies and toddlers are blissfully unaware of the
pressure to produce their own worth.
They remind us of the truth that it is simply good that we exist. Their very existence invites us to consider
whether or not our priorities are properly ordered.
If a human person is the pinnacle of creation, the
greatest gift, a living, breathing image of God, then what could be a greater
privilege than to encounter a person in a most intimate way as her mother every
day?
We can ask ourselves – Is this life entrusted to my
care worth dedicating my day, my week, my life to upholding, defending, and
introducing into the world? If I truly
believe in the dignity of every human person, then if I spend my entire day
caring for this particular person entrusted to me, I am not wasting my time or
belittling my talents. I am
simultaneously complimenting this life entrusted to me by giving my all for her
and I am being complimented by being asked by God to care for this person in
all her uniqueness and unrepeatability.
St. John Paul II emphasized this in his “Letter to
Families” when he wrote, “the family is the center and the heart of the
civilization of love.” It is in the
family that life is given, cultivated, and welcomed in love. It is in the family that we place our time,
energy, gifts and love at the service of the particular lives entrusted to us.
The Church does not say that women are incapable of serving in capacities other
than as mother. The Church does not say
that women should not serve in other
capacities. Rather, the Church helps us
to see that there is no greater honor than to be a mother, whether spiritually
or physically, and to be entrusted with the gift of life.
We forget how invaluable the gift of life, the gift
of a particular, unique, unrepeatable person is, and instead insist that the
value of a woman is wrapped up in how expensive the equipment is that she
oversees, how large of a staff she directs or how big of a budget she can
handle.
Can women receive advanced degrees, run companies and
be active in public life? The Church
certainly isn’t saying no. In fact, one
can read St. John Paul II’s litany of thanksgiving for women in his “Letter to
Women,” wherein he writes: “Thank you, women who work! You are present and active in every area of
life – social, economic, cultural, artistic, and political” (#2).
To say that it is an insult to women to hold up their
capacity for motherhood in highest esteem is to insult their children, whether
a woman is full time at home or full time in the office. In effect: “You, my child, possess less worth
than college tenure, impressive clients, massive budgets and exciting
promotions.” I become an [insert career
title] who happens to be a mother, rather than a mother who happens to be an
[insert career title].”
In reality, as women, what greater honor can there be
than that the most precious gift of life
has been entrusted to us, spiritually and physically! When I am sitting on the floor at home,
playing blocks, reading books, and changing diapers, I am able to communicate
to our daughter in a way that the entire world is incapable of articulating, “Your
life is a gift, and it is good you exist.”
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Emily,
ReplyDeleteThank you for such a great reflection! I have a vivid memory of one one of our classmates asking a certain bearded and bespectacled professor of ours if a woman should ever work outside the home. He leaned back in his chair, smirked, and said "Heh." After a long pause, he said, "Well, in order to answer that question, we've got to get clear about a few things: Who is woman? What does it mean to work? And what do we mean by a home?" What you've written above helps us approach answers to all three. Thank you!