Friday, June 19, 2015
Walking and chewing gum at the same time
When I
was a junior in high school I began the application process for a U.S. Marine
Corps NROTC scholarship. Along the way I
encountered a recruiter for enlistment with the Marines. His basic selling point was, why go through
your first exposure to military training while you’re also becoming accustomed
to undergraduate studies? Join the
Marines as an enlisted man and then if you get accepted to the NROTC program
you’ll be a step up on everyone. The
unmentioned part of the plan though was that if I didn’t get accepted to NROTC
then I’d be a Marine, not a college student, for at least four years and he’d
be one step closer to his monthly quota of recruits. He summarized his sales pitch to me by posing
the question, “do you want to have to learn to walk and chew gum all at the
same time?” I must confess, at the time
it was a persuasive rhetorical question because of my eagerness to do “tough
guy” stuff as soon as possible. Looking
back on the whole brief exchange (my application did not make it past the first
wave of scrutiny) I periodically and whimsically call to mind that rather
bizarre phrase, “learning to walk and chew gum at the same time”.
 |
| "Gum Ball Machine" by Ganesha Balunsat is licensed under C.C by 2.0 |
I bring it up here because of two
very much non-trivial tasks in which all baptized Christians are called to
participate, but most of us don’t have a real good grasp of either of them on
their own, and certainly not when paired up!
The two tasks: forming intentional disciples from people within our
sphere of influence (walking), and living fully our own Christian state of life
(chewing gum). Expecting that most
Christians fulfill these responsibilities currently (or even know how to begin
them) is like expecting that Marine boot camp wouldn’t be a culture shock to a
pampered city boy.
If you
haven’t had a chance to read Sherry Weddell’s Forming Intentional Disciples and Becoming a Parish of Intentional Disciples
yet, I highly recommend them. The books
equip and motivate the reader to fruitfully respond to the Gospel imperative to
share freely what we have freely received (Mt 10:8). For if we don’t do this, our own faith will
atrophy and our friendship with the Lord and our neighbor will deteriorate,
perhaps even to the point where we don’t believe it’s possible to have a loving
relationship with God himself or care about the condition of our neighbor’s
body and soul. As St. Vincent de Paul wrote,
“It is not enough for me to love God, if my neighbor doesn’t love Him.”
So if sharing the Good News of Jesus
Christ, and purposefully helping others to transition from trusting Christians,
to being open, to learning more, to being outright curious about Jesus, to
seeking him so as to eventually become his disciple, who can lead others
through the same predictable stages of conversion is indispensable to following
Jesus (Mt 28:19, Mk 16:15, 1 Cor 9:16), how do you actually do so while (or
better yet—because of) simultaneously being a good husband/father or
wife/mother? While it is awesome to have
convert (or revert), to the faith as a college student living in bachelor/bachelorette
mode and bring your roommate to bible studies/Mass/Adoration/etc., it is not at
all the same as being in the thick of sleep-interrupted, diaper-changing,
dinner-with-toddler(s)-on-your-lap stage of life and spiritually accompanying (c.f.
Evangelii gaudium 169-173) a peer or
someone from a different stage of life in your own vocation or a different
vocation altogether.
So how
does one bring the orbits together of forming disciples and living marriage
well?
Here is a
list of items to get the conversation started, please share yours too:
·
Marry someone decidedly in love with Jesus. Aristotle
and Fr. Barron recommend it! This
way when your baptism, confirmation, marriage and Eucharistic graces kick in,
then you can share the love and joy of the Gospel to the fullest.
o
Tithing 10% of your gross income versus net. This
won’t be a source of conflict, it’ll be a source of trusting in God’s
providence together which will lead to overall marital joy even in the midst of
less cash flow!
·
Don’t allow people to view your children as a
burden preventing you from participating in the life of the community or your
parish.
o
If you sense that the RCIA team leader does not
want to impose on your weeknight routine by having you share your testimony
with the candidates and catechumens, say explicitly and perhaps repeatedly, “it
would be a pleasure and honor to share my faith story with others. My spouse will support me in this by tucking
the kids into bed that night.”
·
Don’t fall for the mental trap that “we’ll have
more time later . . .”
o
There’s no guarantee that tomorrow will be given
to us; each of our ends will always be surprising to us (Mt 24:36, 42-44). Show your children today what it looks like
to be a gracious host to God in our neighbors (Heb 13:2) so that when they are
older it will be a natural manifestation of their Christian life.
·
Strike a balance with your time in favor of Jesus
and Christian community.
o
What if you only watched TV one night a week for
30 min? Or
what if you didn’t watch TV at all?
What if you visited Jesus in the tabernacle or exposition of the
Eucharist once a week? What if you
stopped by an elderly and lonely neighbor’s house each time you were out for a
walk? What if your kids only did one
sport per year and you joined teams that your fellow parishioners were on too
so that while on the sidelines and during practices you could share your faith
journey and struggles with your peers?
What if you read the lives of the saints with your kids each night? Or said “goodnight” to their patron saint’s
icon on their bedroom wall?
·
What if you prayed obscure Catholic prayers and
invited others to learn them with you?
o
You could pray Angelus at noon with coworkers or
to St. Michael the Archangel after Mass with your spouse, kids and pew neighbor,
or the Memorare at the start of car journeys, or the Glory Be upon hearing
emergency vehicle’s sirens wherever you may be, or even simply make the Sign of
the Cross before grace at meals at restaurants.
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